Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Say: "Cheese"!

It’s a sad fact that 90 percent of the lectures in our house revolve around cheese.  I say lectures, because unlike fights, they usually have a friendly undertone.  But only just – they are super serious nonetheless.  These cheese lectures resound within our four walls so frequently that, if I had a rand for each one, I’d most likely be somewhere on a luxury cruise ship right now, drinking something fancy out of a pineapple.  Seriously.
I love cheese.  Loads and loads of cheese.  I’m talking about almost a block-a-week, head over heels kind of love.  What is, after all, more comforting than a gooey, warm, grilled cheese sandwich?  Or a nice, warm bowl of spaghetti bolognese, covered in melted cheese?  Nothing comes even remotely close; at least in my books.  Which is, of course, detrimental to our monthly grocery budget – hence the lectures.
This particular lecture was about the way the cheese was cut...  Oops...
But it’s not only the rate of my cheese consumption that sparks the lectures – it’s also my picky taste in cheese.  Because on top of being a die-hard cheese lover, I’m a choosy one at that: The cheese has to be white.  Which usually means that it’s also more expensive.  Which kicks up the seriousness of the lectures by yet another notch.  Eish.
Will thinks he’s come up with the perfect solution to our cheesy dilemma: He’s convinced that making our own cheese will cut our grocery bill in half each month.  Hmmmm.  Although I have nothing against his plan, or the thought of homemade cheese, I’m a little concerned about who the cheese maker will be...  And I have a sneaky suspicion that the chief cheese eater will also have to be the chief cheese maker.  Which, at our (my) current rate of consumption, will leave me with zero time for making anything else, like spaghetti bolognese to be covered; or sandwiches to be grilled.  Which, in turn, renders the cheese unnecessary and leaves me with absolutely no choice: Facing the cheese lectures like the brave cheese junkie that I am.

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